Wednesday, September 03, 2014

WHY DOES JONAH GOLDBERG HATE GOD?

I'm sure you've encountered Joe Biden's words on ISIS:
Vice President Joe Biden on Wednesday delivered a fiery response to the killing of American journalist Steven Sotloff, telling Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant militants that the U.S. will "follow them to the gates of hell."

"[W]hen people harm Americans, we don't retreat. We don't forget," Biden said during a speech in New Hampshire. "We take care of those who are grieving, and when that's finished, they should know, we will follow them to the gates of hell until they are brought to justice. Because hell is where they will reside. Hell is where they will reside."
Pretty straightforward, no? Well, apparently not to Jonah Goldberg:
I realize that taking Biden's language too literally is a shortcut to madness, but I always thought "bring to justice" meant "bring to trial." The Internet seems to agree with me. So which is it? When he says they will reside in Hell, he makes it sound like we will be sending them there. But he also says we'll be bringing them to justice, which suggests that we will retrieve them. If he had said “we will follow them to the ends of the Earth” that would have made more sense. I mean do we have an extradition treaty with Hell?
Goldberg claims to be "taking Biden's language ... literally," but Biden didn't literally say we'll be bringing ISIS to justice -- he said "we will follow them to the gates of hell until they are brought to justice." By whom? By God, I assume -- Biden's a cradle Catholic, so I assume he expects his God to do the justice-bringing.

Which is the kind of talk I thought was supposed to be second nature to right-wingers and anathema to Godless-commie Democrats. But there it is from Biden -- and it went completely over Goldberg's head. Hey, Jonah, don't all you righties think America is a Judeo-Christian nation? Aren't you always telling us that Democrats want to banish religion from the public square? Well, here's the religion you love so much. Funny you didn't recognize it.

5 comments:

Victor said...

Jonah doesn't recognize the religion because it came from a Democrat - so, there was something lost in the translation.

Cirze said...

He only speaks Jewish.

Pidgin Jewish.

heh

Unknown said...

I think Goldberg was having a Maureen Dowd "oh look at me, I'm trying to be ironic" moment. His faithful followers attacked the real object of their derision, Joe Biden. And of course him who should be impeached.

Roger said...

Jonah escaped from a Hellmouth, and has been trying to return ever since.

swkellogg said...

So which is it? When I say "Jonah Goldberg has his head up his ass" it makes it sound like his head is up his ass. But it also makes it sound like his head is up his ass. Which suggests his head is up his ass.

Unfortunately his head has no extradition treaty with his ass.

The internet seems to agree with me.